


If It's You

by xkryptoslumiere



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Eren Yeager
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-30 23:42:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19413919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xkryptoslumiere/pseuds/xkryptoslumiere
Summary: No more worries, Captain. Soon enough, you won't have to deal with a brat anymore. And humankind won't have to worry for having a titan shifter such as I amongst them.





	If It's You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ichigoangel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichigoangel/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Distractions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/888127) by [ichigoangel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichigoangel/pseuds/ichigoangel). 
  * Inspired by [Nightmares](https://archiveofourown.org/works/882715) by [ichigoangel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichigoangel/pseuds/ichigoangel). 



I would never forget the night I was awaken from one of my what seemed like endless nightmares. For the first time in my life, someone has finally took pity on me, made me feel human, and pulled me from the pit of my despairs. Or so I thought. 

  


  


What welcomes me as I gradually felt consciousness slip into me was a crisp slap, square into my face. And a face with the very much known scowl that seemed like a default expression. Come to think of it, I have never seen you having any expression aside from that scowl, Captain. 

  


  


Drowsy and shocked, I felt embarrassed as I was not quick to pull myself together and fix my appearance. I couldn't afford to, anyway. For despite being awake, I can still feel my being caged upon the dark depths of a void world. I cannot feel anything, Captain. Can you save me? 

  


  


Of course not. This is my life, after all. My own. Not yours to meddle with. I'm nothing but a shitty brat, monster, humankind's both enemy and bait. Everything's crystal clear to me now, Captain. 

  


  


I can almost feel my heart shatter into million pieces as you told me to stop having nightmares and keep it down because there are many cadets that could be interrupted in their sleep. Captain, do you not feel any empathy towards me? Concern? I feel responsible and pressured for what might happen to humankind but at the same time, I am gravely devastated being labeled as an enemy. I never wanted this. But what more can I do? Only one thing. Finish this battle. 

  


  


After those words, Captain, you were about to step out when I timidly asked if you could stay for the night — hold me. I felt so embarrassed and regretted it soon enough as you coldly said no. There, I couldn't help it. Tears streamed down my face and broken sobs and whimpers escaped my mouth as I desperately held them in using the back of my hand.

  


  


Hours of breaking, I felt numb. Tired, broken, numb. And my eyes soon fell down into slumber. Tomorrow, I'm gonna be both humankind's ally and enemy. A bait, in other words. 

  


  


If this is the fate written for me, then I'm already fine with it. Tomorrow, I'm gonna finish this battle and end my sorrows. No more worries, Captain. Soon enough, you don't have to deal with a brat anymore. And humankind won't have to worry for having a titan shifter such as I amongst them.

  


* * *

  


The expedition so far has been going smoothly. Casualties cannot be avoided but the goal is somehow getting attainable as hours of fighting passed by. As soon as I shifted hours ago, I killed off as many titans as possible. I think I have eliminated a good dozen or more so by the time I shifted. 

  


  


A few more hours passed and I can feel tiredness course through my titan and human body. I looked around and saw how bloody it was. Titan and human corpses scattered around, debris everywhere, fires, and devastated infrastructures. I've helped a lot this time, but my energy seems to fade every second. My consciousness threatening to falter and suddenly great pain coursed throughout me as I failed to notice four titans approaching me.

  


  


I screamed at the pain and couldn't fight anymore. I was so overwhelmed but remembered that I have to do this. With all my might and the rest of what little energy I had, I threw the titan clinging onto my arm and bit the one nearing my nape. I kicked off the other two but to my miscalculation, only one flew off and the remaining one, who appears to be an abnormal one, suddenly jumped high and bit my shoulder. 

  


  


When was this pain going to leave me? I'm so tired. My regeneration stopped hours ago and all I can see is thick steam coming off of me and I can no longer feel myself. Gradually, I gave up. I fell upon my knees, closed my eyes, and the next thing I knew was my insides of my nape being exposed. 

  


  


To Captain, my love, Levi, how I wish I could've spent time with you even for just a span of a few minutes before the expedition. A few change of talks would do. I just miss your voice, so damn much. And how I wish I had a chance to feel your skin upon me again. Just your hands would suffice. 

  


  


I felt my body caught by human arms. What is happening? What I knew was the abnormal titan was about to swallow me, kill me. And now I feel arms around me. Could I be hallucinating? If so, then maybe it's alright. Atleast, I felt warmth before dying. Levi, I would never mind hallucinating about your touch even until the last seconds of my life. Remember, just remember, that even how muddled and hazy my mind was now, I will still treasure this. Hallucination or not, I will treasure everything about you. I love you, you know. And I wish nothing but the best for you.  



End file.
